Searching, reaching, grasping for something that isn’t there is becoming exhausting in the studio. I know it is a phase that will pass, but while I am in it, it feels like forever.
I am on repeat.
Casually failing the dual paintings, trying over and over, then over painting, sanding back and ruining it anew. A challenge and I am up for it, determined to make these work as I like the concept and colour conundrum.
I have no reason, no ending and no thoughts, just mist, and my intuition is silent. Wake up!
Painting over old dark and dead work with fresh colours. Sketches, but they have something in the clean vs muted colours.
Removing colour, well one, reducing the palette to three. Stone like, flint like in fact, with the blues and soft browns. Fair, I’m attempting it again, larger. The Lowry seascapes are in there somewhere, look again at those.
Making waves which look like jelly; raspberry or blackberry, lemon or peach? Sketches on small panels, not sure if they will be of use exactly, going forward.
Someone’s horrible advice is in my head, I find I am arguing with them internally. Fighting against what they said, I am to go wild with figuration.
Putting it all away, I’d forgotten to not look at it all, turning it to the wall and looking at one painting at a time. A relief.
One of the new diptychs has a beautiful soft gradient, I love it. Purely accidental as most good things are. I need to work out how I can replicate this in new works balancing warm and cool tones, or clean and muted ones. Thinking time required.