Searching, reaching, grasping for something that isn’t there is becoming exhausting in the studio.
I am on repeat.
Casually failing the dual paintings, trying over and over, then over painting, sanding back and ruining it anew. A challenge.
Just play they say, and I have been, to no end whatsoever. So far.
I have no reason, no ending and no thoughts, just mist, and my intuition is silent. Wake up!
Painting over old dark and dead work with fresh colours. Sketches but they have something in the clean vs muted colours.
Removing colour, well one, reducing the palette to three. Stone like, flint like with the blues and soft browns. Fair, I’m attempting it again.
Making waves which look like jelly; raspberry or blackberry, lemon or peach? Sketches on small panels.
Someone’s horrible advice is in my head, I find I am arguing with them internally. Fighting against what they said, I am to go wild with figuration.
Putting it all away, I’d forgotten to not look at it all, turning it to the wall and looking at one painting at a time. A relief.